Core of Courage
I’m standing in front of the sliding glass doors next to my giant crimson poinsettia plant on New Year’s Day, looking across my balcony at the pale gray condos opposite. One balcony is trimmed with ropes of evergreen along the railing.
The sky above is robin’s egg blue. Through a stand of trees off to the southwest, I see the golden glimmers of a fading sun.
We made it through the family holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. I’m still alive!
In a minute, I will plug in the tiny white Christmas lights all around these giant windows and play the James Taylor CD, “Hourglass.”
Every day now I practice “breathe / let go” and get more grounded in my true self…more centered in my own heart.
Every time in the past, at least 7,000 times, when I’ve said “Bye! See you soon!” to each of my children, I have always seen her again / seen him again. And, as God assures me, we will all three be TOGETHER FOREVER IN ETERNITY.
“What part of ‘eternity’ do you not understand? –God asks me. “How can you stay insecure in the face of such a life-giving PROMISE!?”
So, I see that the Next Step is: Find my own true life and live it! With courage!
No more super-people-pleaser. It never really pleases anyone!
Now, I’m feeling peaceful again. I still have lots more life to live!
There shall be no more running away—cowering in fear of real and imagined boogeymen. No more clinging, grabbing onto some dysfunctional relationship, as if it might “save” me!
What will really save me is settling down and finding that calm place within. Like Nancy Drew, a heroine from my youth—I am finding my CORE of COURAGE. Standing in that place, I can reach up and touch GOD.
And now I know…ALL IS WELL!
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